AUTHOR'S NOTES: This story takes place nearly eight years after the events of "The Summer I was Young Again". Friends and relatives who have appeared in past stories make special cameos.
Beast Boy and Raven from the Teen Titans return, but a little older than when we last saw them in "A Hero is Hard to Find". Characters from the Warner Bros. series Smallville return as well, depicted a year after the series finale.

      Dori pulled up to the Oughtons' residence around 5:15 in the evening. She was feeling stressed because she had a busy day and now she was running late. She ran up to the front porch and was about to ring the doorbell when the door suddenly opened.
  "Hey Dori, it's about time you got here!" Jeff said as he gave his friend a hug.
  "I'm sorry, Jeff. The couple I've been babysitting for got home late from work." she explained as she walked in.
  Mona Lisa ran up to Dori and gave her a hug. "There's the maid of honor! I was getting worried you might've been in an accident on the way over."
  Dori chuckled. "Oh, I'm fine. How're you feeling?"
  "I'm excited, and a little nervous!"
  "You're not the only one, dudette. Raphael's had the hiccups for like the last three hours." Michaelangelo said.
  "It's only been -HIC- two and a half!" Raph said, jumping a little as he hiccupped.
  "It's such ashame Jillian can't make it this weekend." Jeff said disappointed. "She sure has been busy!"
  "I know, it stinks. Oh well, my mom is coming tomorrow for the wedding." Dori mentioned.
  "Oh, that's great! We've been anxious to meet her!"
  "For sure. She sounds like a nice lady. Um, what's her name again?" Michaelangelo asked in a sheepish tone.
  "Her name is Carol. Is anybody else going to be here?" Dori asked.
  "James is coming, and my cousins who live down the street will be here." Jeff answered. "Weren't the Punk Frogs supposed to show up sometime today?"
  "They -HIC- called during lunch and said -HIC- they'd be here by -HIC- close to -HIC- 10 PM." Raphael said, trying to maintain his composure between hiccups.
  Mona Lisa giggled. "Come on, sweety. Lets go into the kitchen and get a glass of water."
  "There you are, Michaelangelo." Splinter said as he and Leonardo walked up. "Mrs. Oughton has an outfit she'd like you to try on for the ceremony."
  "Aw, but I already picked my outfit. I'm going Hawaiian style!"
  "Oh no you're not, Mikey!" Leo interjected. "We've been over this a dozen times now, and-"
  Suddenly, the door to the basement swung open. "Hey Jeff, would you mind coming downstairs and helping me?"
  "Now's not really a good time, Donnie. Dori just got here and we've got to get ready for the rehearsal dinner."
  "I know, but this will only take a few minutes!" Donatello said as he walked over and dragged Jeff by the arm.
  Jeff let out a sigh. "Okay, fine."
  Leonardo turned his attention back to Michaelangelo. "As I was saying, we've been over this a thousand times! You're not going to spoil Raphael and Mona Lisa's wedding!"
  "All right, I'll wear the damn tux!" Mikey griped as he and Leo walked into Jeff's parents' room.
  "So how has college been going for you, Dori?" Splinter asked as he led her into the kitchen where Raphael and Mona Lisa were sitting at the table.
  "It's been going very well. Thanks for asking!"
  Meanwhile downstairs, Donatello had what looked like a ray gun sitting on the work bench.
  "Don't tell me you got this in Dimension X!" Jeff said.
    "No, but you're sort of close. It's one of Shredder's weapons I found in the Technodrome during my last trip to Shellrelah. I tried testing it on some rocks I found out on the road, but it didn't do anything to them"
  "Perhaps it's meant to affect living organisms. Hey, there's a dial on this thing." Jeff noted. "It looks like some kind of time setting, though it only goes up to an hour." Jeff set the dial to 5 MINUTES and aimed the ray at Freckles the old pet cat. "I hope this doesn't hurt her." he said.
  "It shouldn't... I hope."
  Jeff pulled the trigger and a bright blue beam shot out and zapped Freckles who tried to run, but the moment the ray hit her, she froze.
  "It seems to be some sort of paralyzing ray!" Donatello stated.
  "Hey dudes, like are you busy? We kind of need some help up here." Michaelangelo called from upstairs.
    Jeff took the paralyzing ray and stuffed it into his belt buckle, then picked up Freckles and carried her back upstairs to the living room. He placed the frozen cat on the sofa as he turned to see Michaelangelo in a rather oversized tuxedo. "You look like a little kid playing dress-up."
  "Very funny, bro!"
  "What's wrong with Freckles?" Leonardo asked.
  "It's an experiment. She should be mobile again in about five minutes." Donatello said, looking a little nervous.
    Just then the front doorbell rang. "Now who could that be?" Mrs. Oughton asked as she opened the front door to see an oddly dressed pair of teenagers standing on the porch.
  "Are you sure this is the right place, Raven?"
  "Trust me, Beast Boy. I've been here before. Not physically, mind you, but... Oh, hello. We're looking for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It's very urgent!"
  "Hey, I recognize those two voices!" Michaelangelo said out loud.
    "As if the names Raven and Beast Boy aren't a dead giveaway already!" Jeff said as he pulled his mom aside and reached out the doorway to shake hands with the green skinned young man. "Hey, Titans, long time no see! Are you here for the wedding?"
  "No, but I'm a little shocked we weren't invited." Beast Boy stated.
  "Damn it, Garfield! We don't have time for this!" Raven snapped as she stormed through the doorway.
    At the same moment Splinter entered the living room from the kitchen, anxious to greet his friend from the astral plane. "Raven, what brings you to our world?"
  "I thought I should give you a fair warning that your Shredder is back! I sensed him a few days ago traveling between dimensions."
  "Oh great. What a time for old Bucket-Breath to be back!" Jeff remarked.
  "Can you tell us which dimension he was coming from?" Leonardo asked.
  "No, but I was able to see where he was going. Infact Donatello and my friend Starfire had gone there the last time we met."
  "Smallville? What would Shredder be doing in Smallville?" Don asked.
  "He probably wanted to pick up some pointers from Lex Luthor." Michaelangelo joked.
  "This is no laughing matter, my students. You must travel to Smallville immediately and stop our arch nemesis from doing any further damage to the multi-verse!"
  "But what about the wedding?" Jeff asked.
  "Hey, we've been able to beat Shred-head in one evening before! How hard should it be this time?" Raphael said, having been listening in from in the kitchen with Mona Lisa and Dori.
  "Raphael's right! Come on, Turtles!" Leo said as he beckoned his brothers and Jeff into the basement to gather their weapons.
    Michaelangelo twirled his nunchucks around when he noticed the other side of the basement where the dimensional portal generator usually stood. "Hey Don, what happened to the portal?"
    "Oh, Jeffrey and I dismantled it a few months ago. The view screen was beginning to wear out from over-usage so I thought it'd be safer to just get rid of it before it blows up on us. But actually, I'm glad you brought it up because this gives me the opportunity to try out the new trans-dimensional teleportation circuits I installed in the Turtle Van." Donatello said with excitement as he twirled his bo staff.
    Back upstairs Freckles was coming out of her frozen state. Beast Boy attempted to pet her, but the cat darted off. "Hey, come back! I just wanted to give you a belly rub!"
  "So what should we do while the guys are gone?" Dori asked Mona Lisa.
  "Actually I was thinking it might be fun to go along. I missed out the last time they took a trip like this because I had to take care of Cherubae."
  Just then Jeff and the Turtles came back into the living room with their weapons strapped to their belts. "Boy I can't wait to give Shred-head a good wallop!" Raphael said brandishing one of his sais.
  "We'll be back soon, Mom." Jeff said as he hugged Mrs. Oughton.
  "Be safe out there, honey."
    Donatello was the first one to walk outside and ran excitedly towards the Turtle Van, followed by Jeff. "Hey Don, you're gonna need these to drive!" the boy said as he held up the keys.
  "I'm going to let you do the honors."
  "Really? Awesome!" Jeff replied as he opened the door to the driver's seat.
  Leonardo and Raphael soon came outside accompanied by Dori and Mona Lisa. "I hope you guys don't mind if we join you."
  "Of course not, darling. The more the merrier!" Raph said happily. "Besides, it's kinda nice having the whole wedding party take a trip together like this."
  "Just remember, Dori. If things get dangerous, one of us should be there to keep you safe."
  "Thanks, Leonardo."
  "So like let me get this straight. It's been four years since we were in your world?" Michaelangelo asked Raven and Beast Boy as they walked out of the house together.
    "Apparently time moves a little faster in our dimension for some reason. A lot's changed." Beast Boy explained. "Robin altered his costume and now calls himself Nightwing. He and Starfire have been living in a city called Bl dhaven for the past few months. Cyborg also moved out and joined Titans East."
  "So it's just the two of you living in that mondo big tower?" Mikey asked.
  "No, we've had some friends move in with us. A few of them are a little young though, so I insisted they stay home." Raven exclaimed.
  "I hope Kid Flash and Jinx aren't too miffed we gave them babysitting duty!" Beast Boy added with a laugh as they joined Leonardo, Raphael, Mona Lisa and Dori in the back of the Turtle Van.
  "Everybody strap in. This is going to be a pretty gnarly ride!" Jeff said as he revved the engine. He pulled out of the driveway and headed down the road. "Okay, Donatello. Where to?"
  "Just keep driving while I punch in the coordinates." Don said as he punched buttons on the console. Shortly after, an image of the Kent Farm appeared on the display screen. "Bingo, I have the location! Jeff, head towards the highway."




  Several minutes later Raphael started to get a little antsy. "Okay, we've been on the road for a good ten minutes. When do we open the portal?"
  "Where we're going, we don't need portals!" Donatello joked. "The teleportation circuits are almost ready. Soon as I give the signal, Jeff will hit the gas and once we get to 55 miles an hour, we're gonna see some major fireworks!" A yellow light on the console of Donatello's dimensional teleportation controls lit up. "All right, we're ready! Hit it, Jeffrey!"
  "You got it, Donnie!" Jeff pressed his foot down on the gas pedal and sped up.
      As soon as the Turtle Van got up to 50 MPH, sparks began to fly around the vehicle and the bumper on the front of the van glew bright white. As the van reached 55 MPH the entire vehicle was glowing white and with a brilliant flash of light it vanished!

Smallville Earth (Elseworld 167); Smallville, KS - May 25TH, 2012

      Martha Kent sighed as she sat on the porch swing watching her son run frantically around the farm.
  "Well, that's everything. The crops are dusted, the cows are fed and I fixed all the holes in the barn Captain Boomerang made when he attacked me and Bart."
  "My word, I don't know where you get all that energy!"
  "I've got a good idea!" Lois Lane said with a devilish smirk as she came out the front door and kissed Clark on the cheek. "I hope you're in the mood for my out-of-this-world tuna sandwiches!"
  Clark rolled his eyes, though he didn't dare make a comment. As much as he loved Lois, her culinary skills left much to be desired.
  Martha laughed. "Come on, son. It can't be that bad."
  Before Clark could interject, there was a bright flash of light and a large yellow vehicle with a green roof emerged from up the road.
  "What the hell?" Lois said as she ran out to the driveway and took out a small camera.
  "Lois, wait!" Clark said as he ran up to her and pulled her back.
  "Clark, be careful! I just bought this camera!"
  "I'm more worried about you, Lois! There's no telling who or what might be in that thing."
  "It's just an old RV... with a really tacky color scheme."
  They walked up to the van just as the front passenger door window rolled down revealing a familiar looking mutant turtle. "Hey, Clark! Uh, long time no see."
  "Donatello? Is that you?"
  "Who else would it be?" Don said with a grin.
  Lois was taken aback for a moment but quickly overcame the shock. "A talking turtle? That has to be the wackiest thing I've ever seen!"
  "Wait'll she sees the rest of us!" Raphael remarked.
  "Hey dudes, it's getting kinda crowded in here. Besides, Mother Nature's been calling me since the moment we got here!"
  "Make it quick, Michaelangelo." Jeff said as he pushed a button on the dash that activated the back door to swing open.
  Lois peaked in and stared wide-eyed at the Turtles and their friends.
  "Take a picture, lady. It'll last longer!" Mona Lisa joked.
  "Don't mind if I do!" Lois said as she aimed her camera, though she was quickly stopped by Clark. "Aw come on!"
  "Lois, they aren't here for you to give you a story."
  "I wasn't looking for one! Besides the Daily Planet wouldn't be interested in a story about alien amphibians from the Crab Nebula!"
  "Actually, we're known as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!" Leonardo exclaimed.
  "Plus if you haven't noticed, some of us are humans." Beast Boy chimed in as he put his arm around Raven who didn't seem to mind.
    Mikey found a quiet area behind the barn to relieve himself. "That's the cool thing about not wearing pants. You don't have to deal with zippers!" Once he finished urinating, Michaelangelo turned around expecting to see a clear view of his bros in the Turtle Van, but instead he got quite a surprise. "Whoa!"
  "Well howdy, little buckaroo! Remember us?"
  A familiar looking mutant bull grabbed Michaelangelo and flung him into the air, landing at the feet of another furry mutant. "Groundchuck and Dirtbag? What the heck are you dudes doing here?!"
  "Having us some fun!" the mutant mole said as he grabbed Mikey by the throat and punched him in the stomach.
  Jeff was the first to notice the commotion from across the yard. "Uh guys, don't look now but I think our resident party dude is in trouble!"
  Donatello, Leonardo and Raphael quickly got out and ran towards the barn to confront their brother's attackers.
  "Hey, you ugly mugs! Let go of our buddy!" Raph said.
  "With pleasure!" Dirtbag replied as he hurled Michaelangelo against the wall of the barn.
  "You chumps really made me mad now!" Don said as he proceeded to hit Groundchuck in the head with his bo.
  "Hey, nobody tenderizes this bull!" Groundchuck retaliated by grabbing Donatello by the arms and flinging him around.
    "You finish taking care of those green freaks while I tunnel under the house and find what Shredder wants." Dirtbag started burrowing into the ground, when he was suddenly bashed in the face with a frying pan. The impact not only knocked him out cold, but caused blood to gush out his nose.
  "I don't appreciate people wrecking my late husband's farm!" Martha Kent said defiantly with the frying pan in her hand.
  "Ooh! You're going to regret that, lady!" Groundchuck said.
  "I don't think so!" Clark said as he grabbed Groundchuck by the horns and flung him in the air, causing him to crash into the fence.
  "Now that's taking the bull by the horn!" Leonardo quipped.
  Raphael checked on Michaelangelo who had momentarily blacked out. "You okay, buddy?"
  "For sure, dude."
  "You really had us scared back there, Mikey! You gotta be more careful!" Don spoke.
  "Like how was I to know those bozos were gonna show up and try to make a pinnate out of me?"
  "What I just want to know is how they got here." Leo mentioned as he and Donatello tied up Dirtbag's unconscious body.
  "There's only one way. Someone must have busted them out of the Turtleoids' prison and used the Technodrome's portal to bring them here!" Donatello explained.
  "Which means Kerma and his people could be in big trouble!" Jeff remarked.
  "Can you call him and check?" Dori asked.
  "Not if the Technodrome's been taken over." Don remarked.
  "Then we have no choice. Somebody's got to travel to Shellrelah and keep the Turtleoids safe." Leo said.
  "That doesn't sound like too tough a challenge!" Mona Lisa remarked.
  "There's just one problem. If we split up, how do we keep in contact between dimensions?" Jeff asked.
    "I didn't think about that. We'll have to keep the Turtle Van with us here in Smallville and Raven will have to use her powers to open a portal to Kerma's planet." Donatello explained. "Besides, something tells me the dimensional teleportation circuits need some fine tuning. I thought I had set the coordinates so the van would appear a couple of miles down the road from here where Starfire and I first showed up. Instead we appeared just a few yards from the Kent Farm."
  "Any closer and I probably would've crashed us into the barn." Jeff stated.
  "Hey, atleast you didn't run any of us over. Although if you had hit Clark he would've just made a big dent in your fender." Lois joked.
  "So like who's going where?" Beast Boy asked.
  "Raphael and I can go to Shellrelah and check on the Turtleoids." Mona Lisa said.
  "Sounds like a plan. Just be careful, you two." Leo said as he shook hands with his brother.
  "Hey, what's the worst that could happen?" Raphael said.
  "Famous last words." Raven remarked as she focused her powers on a point infront of Raph and Mona Lisa. Within seconds a star-filled vortex opened and she beckoned them to go through it.
  Mona Lisa took her groom's hand and they walked through the portal. Just then a golden retriever came running out of the barn, barking wildly.
  "Shelby, no!" Martha called out, but she was too late. The dog ran right through the portal.
  "Can you bring her back?" Clark asked.
  "I'm sorry. This is a one-way portal and I can't keep it opened much longer." Raven answered.
  "Don't worry, Clark. I'll find Shelby. You just concentrate on saving our world!" Lois said as she kissed her boyfriend on the cheek and jumped into the portal.
  That same moment Michaelangelo turned around to notice Groundchuck and Dirtbag had disappeared. "Hey, where'd the new gruesome twosome go?"
  "Your guess is as good as mine, dude." Jeff replied.

Jephaelverse Shellrelah (Dimension J) - May 26TH, 2000

    As Lois came through the portal, she attempted to do a cartwheel and a barrel roll but tripped on a rock in the process. "Damn. I hate when that happens!" she said as she got up and brushed the dirt off her jeans just as Shelby came up to her and sniffed her hand. "There you are, you naughty little mutt!" she said as she rubbed the dog's head. "You know better than to go running through mysterious black holes!"
  "Practice what you preach, Miss Lane." Raven said as she came through the portal. "I would have promised to look after your future husband's pet myself, but now what's done is done."
  "Come on, it's not like having another person here is going to change things." Mona Lisa said.
    "You have to keep in mind that we're basically tampering with the laws of time and space! With every interaction between yourself and someone from another dimension, you run the risk of altering that person's fate and endangering their very existence!" the young sorceress said.
  "Ladies, can we please get a move on? I really don't like being near this cave." Raphael said. "It reminds me of that butt-ugly monster Herman the Horrible's hideout!"
  "Yea, but wasn't Herman just some butt-ugly robot those two butt-ugly Turtleoids created to terrorize Kerma and the others?" Mona Lisa said as they started to head towards Turtleoid City.
  "He- I mean they were, but let me tell you something. You never forget such a creepy looking creature!"

Smallville Earth (Elseworld 167); Metropolis, KS - May 25TH, 2012

  "Are we there yet?" Beast Boy asked. "We've been on the road for like three hours!"
  "We should be almost there, Beast Boy." Martha replied as she steered down another street. "Thanks for letting me drive the van, Donatello. I used to drive one just like it back in the 70s!"
  "My pleasure, Mrs. Kent. It gives me the chance to overlook the trans-dimensional teleportation circuits and make sure there aren't any bugs in the system."
  "Yes, but in the meantime there's no telling what Shredder could be up to!"
    "Like chill out, Leonardo! " Michaelangelo remarked. "Clark said if there's anything mondo weird going on in the city, his team would be on top of it! I just wish I could've gone along to the Daily Planet with Jeff and Dori."
  Meanwhile, about 500 feet in the air, Clark was donned in his now famous Superman uniform as he flew through the city while holding Jeff and Dori by either side. "Are you guys okay?"
  "I'm having fun!" Dori said as she looked down at the city's landscape.
  "Same here." Jeff said.
  Clark could tell the young man was feeling rather queasy. "Don't worry. We're just about there." As they landed on the Daily Planet, Clark opened the door leading into the building. "Here, take these guest passes with you. You'll have access into the bullpen where my desk is located."
  "Thanks, Superman!" Jeff said with a grin as he tried to regain his composure.
  As they entered the elevator, Dori turned to Jeff and said "Boy I have to admit it was sort of fun flying over Metropolis like that!"
  "You can say that again, Dori. I sorta wish Clark hadn't gone so darn fast though! I nearly lost my lunch halfway to the Daily Planet!"
  "Maybe you should take a seat, Jeff. You look a little pale."
  "Nah, I'll be -URP- fine."
  Moments later they found themselves wandering a room filled with reporters hard at work on their computers. "I sure hope nobody sees us." Dori said.
  "Eh, I wouldn't expect us to attract much atten-"
  "Oh my God, I can't believe you're here!" a mousy voice said from behind them. Dori and Jeff turned around to see a young lady with long blonde hair standing in front of them The lady grabbed Dori's hand and shook it wildly. "Cat Grant of the Daily Planet. It's such an honor meeting you, Lana!" she said with a bubbly grin on her face.
  "What?"
  "Oh, I'm sorry. That was so rude of me, Miss Lang! It's just I've really appreciated all the letters you sent me over the past year regarding The Blur. Of course he doesn't go by that name anymore!"
  "Um, Miss Grant, I hate to break it to you, but-"
  "Oh is this your new fella, Lana?" Cat asked Dori, interrupting Jeff. "Not much of a catch. I mean seriously after being married to a guy like Lex Luthor, I'd find it hard to trade him in for someone who dresses like a... hipster!"
  "Hey!"
  "Is there a problem here?" a middle-aged gentleman said as he stood right behind Cat.
    "You can help by butting out of other people's beeswax!" Cat snapped as she turned around, though when she realized who she was talking to, her tone changed. "Mr. Perry White! My gosh, I am so sorry! I didn't know you were here! I was... I was just talking to Miss Lang and her beau here when-"
    "Let me stop you right there, Miss Grant. I know for a fact that this young woman is not Lana Lang. Though I will admit the resemblance is uncanny, I know for a fact that Lana Lang isn't nearly as tall, plus she has green eyes. Do your research, Miss Grant. Also, if the real Lana Lang ever shows up here, I ask that you not speak to her unless I'm present! Understood?"
  "Yes, Mr. White, sir." Cat said meekly as she slunk back to her desk.
  "Poor girl. I didn't mean to get her in trouble like that." Dori said.
  "Hey, she brought it on herself by acting like Cheri Oteri on a sugar high!" Jeff remarked. "Man, where the hell is Clark?"
  Just then there was a loud boom and the entire building shook. People began running frantically for the stairs.
  "People, please remain calm. It was probably just-" Perry White was interrupted by yet another loud boom. "Great Ceaser's Ghost!"
    "I seriously doubt Great Ceaser is behind this!" Jeff remarked as he noticed a giant potted plant about to fall on someone's head. Jeff ran as quickly as he could towards the large vase and grabbed it just before it could land on the reporter's head. "Don't just stand there, string bean! Get out!"
  Dori looked back to notice Cat Grant quaking in fear. She ran over to her and helped her up. "Come on, lets get out of here!"
  "But what about your boyfr-" Cat's eyes went wide as she saw Jeff mutate. "Ah... Ah... ALIENS!!!"
  Dori sighed as she grabbed Cat by the arm and dragged her towards the staircase.

Jephaelverse Shellrelah (Dimension J); Turtleoid City - May 26TH, 2000

  "Hey, how much farther is it? My dogs are killing me!" Lois said as she pet Shelby. "Are your dogs killing you, pal?"
  "It's not too much further. The city should be right over this hill." Raphael replied.
  "Raven, why did you land us so far away from the Turtleoids' home turf?" Mona Lisa asked.
    "To be honest, this has been happening a lot today. When I teleported myself and Beast Boy to your world, we actually wound up a mile away from the Oughtons' house. Luckily, Garfield is capable of flying just like I am, so it wasn't really a problem. Donatello's invention seems to have the opposite problem. Instead of showing up too far away from our destination we showed up too close."
  "Hey, check it out! We're here!" Raph said excitedly as he pointed to the skyline of the city.
  "Oh wow. It's like... it's like something out of The Wizard of Oz!" Lois exclaimed.
  "Guess that makes you Dorothy." Mona Lisa joked.
  "Good comeback, sweetheart!" Raphael said as he kissed his fiance on the cheek. "Huh, that's weird. I don't see any sign of-" Just then there was a loud explosion and several buildings on the north side of the city crumbled to the ground. Screams could be heard in the distance. "What the hell?!"
  "Oh my God. Kerma!" Mona Lisa screamed as she and Raph ran towards the city.
  "Hey, wait for us!" Lois yelled as she and Shelby ran side by side. "I am definitely getting a workout today!"
  Tears began to fill Mona Lisa's eyes as they came across dozens of dead Turtleoids who had been in the buildings as they were demolished. "NO! We're too late! We're too damn late!" she cried.
  Raphael hugged his grief stricken bride to be. "It's okay, babe. There's nothing we could have done." Raph's own grief suddenly turned to rage. "Whoever did this is going to pay! I'll see to that!"

Smallville Earth (Elseworld 167); Metropolis, KS - May 25TH, 2012

  Jephael wandered into the basement of the Daily Planet as he tied his red bandana over his eyes. "Hello? Anybody here? There's no need for alarm. I'm just a friendly guy in the body of a large turtle."
  "I gotta tell ya, that has to be the gayest outfit I've ever seen!"
  Jeph turned around to see a young teenaged girl with dark features, including a lot of heavy eye shadow. "You know I really don't appreciate those kinda remarks!"
  "Shut up, you reptilian wimp! I saw you and your girlfriend up in the sky with Big Blue. I know he's here, and if he doesn't show up in ten minutes I'm bringing this whole place down!"
  "Oh yea? I'd like to see you try!" Jephael spat.
  The girl looked menacingly as she focused on a pile of wooden crates, and with the flick of her wrist she sent a powerful energy blast causing the crates to explode.
  "Holy shit! What hell kind of arch fiend are you?!"
  "The name's Plastique, and I'm about to do to you what I did to those boxes!"
  That moment there was a bright flash of light and a beautiful blonde haired girl dressed in blue spandex with white stars appeared. "Don't even think about it, bitch!"
  "I'm getting real freaking sick of you, Stargirl!"
  "The feeling's mutual!" the girl in blue said as she used the crystal spear on the end of her staff to knock Plastique over. "If I had a dollar for every epic fail you made, I bet I'd have enough money to take a trip to Aruba!"
  "SHUT UP!!!" Plastique screamed as she ran towards Stargirl and attempted to punch her.
  Jephael was rather enjoying the little catfight just when his turtle comm went off. "Jeffrey, where the heck are you? You wouldn't believe what's going on out here!"
  "Um, I'll have to call you back, Donatello." He hung up and turned his attention back on his would-be assailant and the angel that came to his rescue!
  Plastique was trying to defend herself with a chunk of wood from the demolished crate while Stargirl kept ahold of her staff.
  "I really hate you, you... blue suited bimbo!"
    "Oh, that really hurts. I was hoping we could be friends." Stargirl replied sarcastically as she managed to smash the chunk of wood in Plastique's hands to pieces. "You've been a bad girl, Betty! So I'm sending you someplace where you can think of your actions."
  A bright light from the staff's crystal emanated around Plastique, causing her to vanish, leaving behind the echo of her scream, "YOU DAMN TW-"
  "Man, she's got a mouth on her!" Jephael remarked.
  Stargirl smiled as she walked up to the turtle boy. "Are you okay?"
  "Oh yea, I'm great! Thanks for saving my shell! The name's-"
  "Jeff Oughton, friend of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Chloe and Oliver filled me in on you guys a year ago during a picnic in Star City."
  "Oh. So um, if you don't mind me asking, what's your name?"
  Stargirl put her mouth up close to Jephael's ear and whispered "Courtney."
    Jeff could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he reverted back to human form. Just then the turtle comm went off a second time. "Hello?"
  "Hey dude, it's Michaelangelo. We were just getting worried about you. Is Dori with you?"
  "Dori? Holy shit, I totally forgot about her!" Jeff said as he slapped himself on the head. "I've got to find her!"
  "She's safe, Jeffrey. Superman just told me he spotted her and Cat Grant hiding out in a cafe downtown. I can take you right there!" Stargirl took Jeff by the arm and teleported them out of the Daily Planet.
    A few blocks away at the Metro Coffee Shop Dori and Clark Kent (now dressed in his work clothes and glasses) were sitting with a shaken Cat Grant at a table outside a cafe. "It's going to be all right, Miss Grant."
  "Thanks, Clark. In all the excitement I must've just thought I saw a little green alien."
  "That's right. There's no such thing as little green aliens." Dori said consolingly.
  That moment the Turtle Van pulled up and Beast Boy jumped out in the form of a little green squirrel. He then morphed into human form right in front of Cat. "Hey, ladies! How's it hanging?"
  Cat's eyes went white with fright as she proceeded to let out a squeak of a scream before passing out.
  "Beast Boy, get back in the van!" Leonardo yelled.
  "Sorry, but I just had to get outside! I was starting to suffocate!"
  "He's got a point, you know." Michaelangelo said as he opened the side door to the van. "So like what's the plan?"
    "I found out there're some weird seismic activity going on in the arctic, right around the area my fortress is located." Clark explained. "Right now my colleague Emil Hamilton is going over some surveillance footage from Oliver Queen's satellite systems."
  "How is the emerald archer doing these days?" Mikey asked.
  "Doing pretty good, actually." Clark answered with a smile. "He and Chloe have a little 4 month old boy! They named him Jonathan, after my adoptive father!"
  "Attention, people of Metropolis!" a voice spoke from over the radio in the van.
  "What the heck?!" Don said as he turned on the monitor in the back.
    Shredder's fiendish face appeared. "I am Oroku Saki, better known as The Shredder. I have come from a far off world to warn you of a threat that not even the Man of Steel can save you from! A green menace that has come to destroy your very way of life!"
  "Donatello, isn't there any way you could-"
  "I'm way ahead of you, Leonardo! The source of the transmission is coming from LexCorp!"
  "I should've known Luthor had a hand in this!" Clark said as he supersped into the coffee shop.
  That same moment Jeff and Stargirl came up the street. "Sorry it took us so long to get here. Apparently the staff is a little on the fritz. We were in Suicide Slums for a few minutes before I could get us here."
  "No biggie, Star Spangled Dudette!" Michaelangelo replied with a grin.
  "Keep it in your shell, pal." Beast Boy joked.
    A minute later Clark came back out in his Superman uniform with a cup of coffee in one hand and his Daily Planet clothes in the other. "I just got off the phone with Emil. He said that there's a humongous globe shaped tank on treaded wheels."
  Leonardo, Donatello and Michaelangelo exchanged glances and yelled out at once "The Technodrome!!!"
  "Why didn't I piece it together sooner? We left it right there outside the Turtleoids' city! I have to contact Raphael!" Don said as he fiddled with the trans-dimensional radio. "Damn it! I can't get through."
  "Why don't we go to Watchtower and see if Emil can help us?" Martha suggested.
  "Good idea, Mrs. Kent!" Don replied
  "Michaelangelo, you go with Superman to the arctic and track down the Technodrome! I'll take Beast Boy, Jeff and Stargirl with me to face Shredder!" Leo ordered.
  "What about Cat Grant?" Dori asked.
  "She should be fine. One whiff of this latte will have her up and about in no time!" Superman exclaimed as he set the cup of coffee down on the table.
  Dori stepped into the back of the Turtle Van just as Leonardo got out. "Be careful out there, guys."
  "Don't worry, Dori. Like Raph said earlier, we can handle Tin Grin in a snap!" Jeff replied.

Jephaelverse Shellrelah (Dimension J); Turtleoid City - May 26TH, 2000

  "Okay, this is definitely not my idea of a pleasure trip!" Lois said as she and Raven came out of one of the buildings that barely remained intact from the explosion.
  "We have to keep searching for survivors. Only a third of the city was destroyed, so not all of the Turtleoids should be dead."
  "That's a comforting thought."
  "It's important that we stay positive, Miss Lane." Raven exclaimed. "Turtleoids are very sensitive creatures. Just a hint of hostility causes them to panic."
  "So they're basically a planet of reptilian George McFlies!"
    "I must say, I resent that remark." an elderly Turtleoid said as he crossed their path. "Atleast I would if I knew what a George McFly was." the ancient creature was covered in soot. "I'm Merka, senior member of the High Counsel of Shellrelah. Are you friends of Donatello and his brothers?"
  "Yes we are." Raven answered. "However Donatello's not with us. We came with Raphael and his fiance Mona Lisa."
    "Ah yes, the lizard like creature Kerma told us about. We were hoping all four of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would come to save us from the monster that did this to our innocent world." Merka shed a tear. "My son and his two children were all in that building just beyond those palm trees. Now they're no more."
  Lois knelt down and put her hand on the old turtle's shoulder. "I am truly, deeply sorry for your loss, sir. But listen, we're going to see it the bastard that took your family from you pays for it!"
  "My dear, we Turtleoids don't believe in vengeance. We believe in coexisting with-"
  "Hey guys, you gotta come check this out!" Mona Lisa yelled from just down the street.
  Lois, Raven and Merka followed Mona Lisa a few blocks down near the center of the city where Raphael stood overlooking life sized gold statues of him and his brothers.
  "Ah yes, we built this monument not too long ago." Merka explained. "Some of the elders were against the idea of sculpting these because they thought the gold used was needed for more important things."
  "That's what I always liked about you Turtleoids. They really know how to show their gratitude!" Raph said with a sniffle, which he quickly covered. "I'm sorry, I got some dust in my eye."
  "Oh sweetheart, quit trying to be Mr. Tough Guy!" Mona Lisa said.
  "There you are, Merka! We've been worried sick!" another elderly Turtleoid said as he walked up to them.
  "I'm fine, Mako. Sadly I can't say the same for my family, and countless others."
  Raphael then had a horrible thought. "Please don't tell me Kerma was in one of those buildings!"
  "Thankfully no. However he has been missing ever since the Technodrome vanished." Mako explained.
  "When did that happen?" Raven asked.
    "About three days ago." Merka answered. "Some youngsters had been playing nearby when they overheard some strange noises coming from the compound. Once we were notified, we sent Kerma immediately to check it out. About an hour after he entered the structure, it suddenly disappeared."
  "If I didn't know any better, I'd say Shredder kidnapped Kerma!" Mona Lisa said.
  "That still doesn't explain who caused that explosion!" Lois stated.
  Suddenly several energy blasts rang out, destroying the statues of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. "Funny you should mention that, my dear." a chortling voice said from behind them.
  "Krang? It-it can't be!" Raphael couldn't believe his eyes as he made eye contact with the evil alien warlord.
  "Oh but it is! And thanks to Shredder, I'm back and ready for vengeance!"

Smallville Earth (Elseworld 167); Arctic Circle - May 25TH, 2012

  Michaelangelo was ecstatic as he and Superman entered the Fortress of Solitude. "I gotta say, dude, I never imagined I'd be here of all places!"
  "I appreciate your enthusiasm, Mikey, but I don't have time to give you a tour." Clark said as he walked up to a console in the center of the room where a beam of light emerged from the ceiling.
  The image of Clark's Kryptonian father appeared in the form of a hologram. "What brings you here, Kal-El?"
  "Father, I need your help! There's a huge mobile battle station up here somewhere and I need to keep the fortress from being damaged."
    "My son, the Kryptonian metal used to create this place is one of the strongest in the 27 known galaxies. Surely this battle station will have no chance of penetrating these walls." the hologram of Jor-El spoke. "Besides, after all the trials you've taken, I fail to see why you need my help, especially when you apparently have so many allies. The mutant specimen you've brought along is quite intriguing."
  "Thanks, dude! You should meet my bro Donatello though. He's super smart!!!" Michaelangelo said with a smile.
  "In a peculiar way I already have." Before Jor-El could explain his cryptic comment, the ground began to shake. "What on Earth?"
  "Oh boy, I think I recognize those vibes!" Mikey said as he and Superman ran out of the Fortress and looked outside to see none other than the Technodrome off in the distance. "Like I don't know who's driving that thing, but we better stop them quick!"
    Clark nodded as he picked up Michaelangelo in his arms and flew towards the enormous sphere. It didn't take long to bust their way in as all Superman had to do was use his super strength to pry open one of the module chutes. "I probably shouldn't say this, but that felt a little too easy." he said as they entered the docking bay.
  "Yea, that's totally something Leonardo would say!"
  Just then Clark's super hearing picked up a faint voice. "Please, stop! Let me go!"
    "There's someone being held captive here." Superman said as he picked up Michaelangelo again and they raced off. Within seconds they were in the main chamber with the dimensional portal. Both their eyes wend wide at the sight of a tall bald headed man in purple tormenting a small Turtleoid who was tied to a metal slab that was slanting downwards.
  "Please, Mr. Luthor, I can't take anymore of this cruelness. I just want to go home!"
  "Not a chance, Kerma! You may be weak physically, but your incredible intelligence can still prove useful!"
  "Hey, cueball, let my little bud go!"
    "I was expecting all four of you mutant turtle freaks to show up, although I see you've brought along a mutual friend instead. I don't remember too much about you from our last encounter, Superman, but I do know you're responsible for that catastrophe at LexCorp last fall! However, since then I've made some interesting allies. Saki showed up out of the blue one day and promised that if I helped him free his former sidekick, an alien warlord from Dimension X, they'd help me regain my memory. However the toxin that wiped my mind has proven quite strong. I can only remember fragments of events. Though one in particular seems to stand out more than the rest."
  "Trust me, Lex. It's better that you don't recall what you've been through." Clark said, attempting to reason with him. "I can help you if you just-"
    "You act as if we're friends, but my heart tells me to loathe everything about you, and those who side with you!" Lex said as he looked menacingly at Michaelangelo. "Tell you what, I'll let Shorty here go free if Spicoli over there can beat me in a fencing match."
  Mikey let out a chuckle. "Get serious, dude! I don't want to fight. Besides my super powered bud can stop you in a heartbeat!"
  "Is that so? Very well." Lex went over to the console of the dimensional portal generator and pressed a button, activating the view screen. "Krang has this portal specifically programmed to open a vortex that will send the remains of the Turtleoids' homeworld to Dimension X."
  "The remains?" Superman replied.
  Kerma's eyes filled with tears as he saw the destruction done to Turtleoid City. "No!"
  "You badguys really are demented, you know that?!" Michaelangelo shouted angrily as he whipped his nunchucks out and yelled wildly as he ran towards Lex. However he stopped short as he saw Luthor aiming a gun at him.
  In a split second, Superman stepped in front of Lex, took the gun from his hand and melted it with his heat vision.
  "Always a step ahead of everybody, aren't you?" Lex said with a grin as he pressed a button, which caused the circular trap door in the center of the room to open. "Lets see how you do against Murphy!"
  A ten foot yak climbed up from the hole snarling and growling as drool ran down its face. For some reason it had a blindfold over its head.
  "What kind of sick experiments have you been up to?!" Superman asked.
  "Oh calm yourself. He was half dead when we found him!" Lex exclaimed. "But thanks to some chemical mutagen mixed with a little meteor rock, Krang managed to bring Murphy here back to life! From what I read in a Daily Planet article, you vow to preserve life. So tell me, how do you intend to subdue Murphy before he takes a life?" Lex pressed a button and activated the portal.
  That moment the mutant yak's blindfold disintegrated, allowing the creature to see Clark's long red cape, which drove him wild. Superman turned and reached out his arms in attempt to stop the beast in its tracks, but instead the massive monster's momentum caused Clark to go flying through the portal and Murphy went running through as well.
  "Where did you send them?" Kerma asked.
      "Not far from a little town in Kansas just south of Smallville. It's plenty populated, so Murphy should cause some commotion before Superman finally gets the guts to dispose of him. In the meantime, I shall dispose of you disgusting creatures the old fashioned way!" Lex pressed a button on the wall which revealed several types of fighting swords. "Some of these are just movie props that apparently survived the destruction of my family's mansion over a year ago. However, some of these blades are real."
  Kerma and Michaelangelo nervously exchanged glances as Lex walked up to them holding two french rapiers. "Choose your weapon."

artwork by pedlag

  Mikey scowled as he took one of the swords and held it vertically in front of his face. "All right, have it your way! But get ready for some serious thrashing!"
    With a fierce swipe, Lex lunged his sword at Michaelangelo, who blocked the move with his sword in one hand as he used a nunchuck in the other hand to get ahold of Lex's rapier, causing the villain to loose his balance and fall flat on the floor.
  "Not so tough, huh?" Mikey said as he proceeded to free Kerma from the ropes that binded him to the table. "Come on, Kerma! We're busting out of this joint!"
  "Thank you, my friend."
  "No problemo, compadre!"
  "Oh wait. We have to stop Krang's dimensional vortex from zapping my people to Dimension X!"
  "Maybe I can contact Donatello from here. I'm sure he'll know what to do! But first, I'm sending this jackass back to the boonies!" Mikey said as he picked up Lex's barely conscious body and tossed him through the portal.
  Just then Clark returned from the same hallway he and Mikey came in through a moment ago.
  "Goodness. How did you get back here so fast?"
  "Yea, and like what happened to that mondo enormo yak?"
  "It wasn't easy, but I noticed the red kryptonite that was effecting him was actually on a collar. All I had to do was break it off. Though I had to take care not to let the kryptonite effect me."
  "Righteous!!! Now all we gotta do is get Kerma back home and do away with the Technodrome!" Michaelangelo exclaimed as he fiddled with the Technodrome's trans-dimensional communicator. "Hey wait a minute. If green kryptonite makes you sick, what the heck does red kryptonite do?"
  "It basically turns me into an asshole." Clark answered back. "There's also black kryptonite, which splits people in two, blue kryptonite, which temporarily renders me powerless and gold kryptonite, which would permanently render me powerless. Some of the guys in the league like to joke about what might happen if we ever found pink or purple kryptonite."
  "Oh my!" Kerma remarked.
  "Yea, I'm almost sorry I asked!"

Jephaelverse Shellrelah (Dimension J); Turtleoid City - May 26TH, 2000

    Lois looked on in amazement as Raphael and Mona Lisa went up against what had to be one of the freakiest looking villains she had ever seen. "Seriously, what's up with the second face that dude's got in his stomach?" she asked Raven.
  "Uh, that's actually his brain. Krang is an evil warlord from Dimension X who got banished to Earth and in the process he lost his body, so Shredder made him that artificial body."
  "From the look of it, something tells me Shredder's seen one too many bad wrestling shows!"
  "Is that the best you've got, you puny platypus?" Krang spat at Mona Lisa.
  "Hey, nobody talks that way to my fiance!" Raphael snapped as he plunged his sais into the back of Krang's body, attempting to short circuit it.
  "Foolish reptile. After that little brat Jeffrey messed with my motor functions years before, I had the wiring altered so that the suit runs entirely on my mental neurons, making my body basically tamper proof!"
  "Yea? Well, you still don't win any beauty pageant!" Mona Lisa responded.
  "Sticks and stones may break my bones but- oh wait, I don't have any bones. Oh well, I can always break yours!" Krang said as he grabbed both Raph and Mona Lisa by the necks.
  "Come on, we've got to save them!" Lois said as she ran into the fray. "Hey, omelette face! Put my friends down before I get royally pissed off!"
  "I beg your pardon, young lady?"
  "The name's Lois, but you can call me your worst nightmare!" she said as she balled up her fists.
  Krang cackled maniacally as he tossed Raphael and Mona Lisa aside and walked up to Lois. "My dear lady, I am Krang the all powerful! I have dealt with puny Earthlings like you before and you're all no match for me!"
  "Think again, Brainiac!" Lois said as she ran up and punched Krang right in the face.
  Blood gushed from Krang's mouth and his right eye was now swollen shut. "Spunky little thing, aren't you? I've never met anyone who had the nerve to actually harm me like that. Ooh, I feel woozy."
  Raphael and Mona Lisa regained their composure just in time to see Krang stagger towards a nearby tree before collapsing.
  "My dear lady, you have saved us from our would-be destroyer!" Merka said appreciatively to Lois. "How can we ever repay you?"
  "Could someone get me some hand sanitizer? I got brain tissue all over my hand!"
  "Now that you mention it, I could use a good massage." Raphael said, rubbing his aching neck.
  That moment a portal opened from which Kerma, Superman and Michaelangelo emerged. "I sure hope Don's plan works, dudes!"
  "Clark? How the hell did-"
  "Stand back, Lois!" Superman said as he lifted Krang into the air and hurled him through the portal just as it closed. "Good thing this universe also has a yellow sun, or that would've been extremely difficult!"
  "Kerma, where have you been?" Mako asked.
  "It's a long story, but we're not out of the woods yet! We must get all the survivors to the High Council Chamber."
  "Come on, dudes. Lets get the lead out!" Mikey said as he took out his turtle comm. "Donatello, do you read me?"

Smallville Earth (Elseworld 167); Metropolis, KS - May 26TH, 2012

  "I read you loud and clear, Michaelangelo! Have you got Krang inside the Technodrome?" Donatello said as he looked at a satellite view of the Technodrome just near the Fortress of Solitude from the view screens in Watchtower.
  "Oh yea, Superman took care of that pretty easily. Though right before that, I whipped Lex Luthor's pasty ass pretty well!"
  "Yea that's great. You can give me a play-by-play of it later! If my calculations are correct, the Technodrome should be pulled into Dimension X any-"
  Just then there was a flash of light which enveloped the Technodrome. Seconds later the compound was gone.
  "Did it work?" asked Emil Hamilton.
  "I'll have to contact the Neutrinos to make sure. I just hope Leonardo and the others are doing all right!"

Jephaelverse Shellrelah (Dimension J); Turtleoid City - May 26TH, 2000

  "My friends, I can't thank you enough for rescuing me and saving my people!" Kerma said as he shook hands with Michaelangelo, Raphael and Mona Lisa.
  "I'm just sorry we couldn't prevent Krang from destroying a third of your city." Raph replied.
    "We can always rebuild. Sadly, the lives that were lost are irreplaceable, but it could've been so much worse! At any rate, I'll be more than happy to transport you all back to Earth. I have a new rocket ship and it's made to fit up to ten people!"
  "That's totally awesome! We'll be back to Harleysville in no time!" Mikey said.
  "Excuse me? I'm sorry, I must have some space dust in my ears." Lois said. "It sounded like you said-"
  "Lois, we're not in your dimension anymore, so we're going to their Earth." Raven explained. "I would take you and Clark back to Smallville right now, but my powers were pretty drained after healing those six injured Turtleoids."
  "Come on, Lois. You and Supes here can be guests of honor at our wedding!" Mona Lisa said.
  "I have to admit, Lois, spending the weekend in an alternate world sounds kinda nice. Plus we get to take in a wedding." Clark said with a grin. "Granted it's a wedding for two mutants, but still-"
  "Oh shut up, Smallville, and get in the rocket ship!"

Smallville Earth (Elseworld 167); Metropolis, KS - May 26TH, 2012

    Leonardo, Jeffrey, Beast Boy and Stargirl made their way into the main lobby of the LexCorp building. "Okay, we're in. Now what?"
  "I don't know, Stargirl. But I know Shredder's in here somewhere. I can sense him!" Leo said.
  "You can sense him? What, does he have b.o. or something?" Beast Boy quipped.
  "Not really a good time for jokes, kid." Jeff replied. "Hey, does anybody else hear that rumbling sound?"
  "Now that you mention it..." Stargirl replied.
  Suddenly a wall in the left corridor smashed open and through the hole came out Groundchuck and Dirtbag!
  "Not those two again!" Leonardo griped.
  "All right, time to get us some payback!" the mutant bull said as he ran in and attacked Leo. "Where's the rest of you green skinned shell-backs?"
  "I hate to break it to you, but they had other things to do." Jeff said as he mutated into Jephael and proceeded to pummel Groundchuck.
  "But don't worry. We'll be happy to take a message!" Stargirl said as she aimed her staff at Dirtbag. "Leo, you and Beast Boy go look for Shredder. We'll take care of these two!"
  Leonardo and Beast Boy raced down the hallway and found the staircase.
    Back at Watchtower Martha Kent was fixing herself and Dori some hot tea. "I hope you like Lipton. That's all they have."
  "That's fine, Mrs. Kent. Thanks."
  "I have to be honest, I feel kind of bad doing this without Lois. She loves bonding moments like these. Of course it's mostly because I've been like a mother to her."
  "Yea, I know my mom is that way with people." Dori mentioned. "I hope she's not getting too worried about me. I promised her I'd give her a call around dinner time."
  "I'm sure she'll understand. I remember back when Clark started saving people in Smallville. I'd get so worried about him, but my husband always told me fretting over him wouldn't do me any good."
  Just then there was a loud crash just outside the door. "What the heck was that?" Donatello asked.
  "It sounded like someone was running at super speed, but tripped and fell before they could get inside." Emil replied as he activated the security cameras.
  On one of the screens there was a young woman struggling to her feet. "Dr. Hamilton! Please, please be here! I need... I need help."
  "Oh my gosh, that's Lana!" Martha said in a surprised manner. "What's she doing here?"
  "I don't know, but it looks like she's in pain." Emil replied.
  "We'd better let her in." Don said as he headed towards the door.
  "No, you don't understand. Her body is bombarded with heavy amounts of kryptonite. There's no telling how she could effect us!"
  "You wouldn't happen to have any radiation suits handy, would you?"
    Back at LexCorp, Jephael and Stargirl were still in a heated battle against Groundchuck and Dirtbag. "How'd you overgrown zoo rejects get here from Smallville?"
  "The same way we done got there in the first place. We took Mr. Luthor's helicopter." the wild bull answered.
  "Please tell me the pilot was a human." Stargirl replied.
  "Nope, it was me! Turns out I make a pretty good pilot!" the mutant mole mentioned.
  "Amazing. Bebop and Rocksteady were never this competent as badguys!" Jephael retorted.
    "Enough talk! Shredder and Luthor want all you do-goodin' whippersnappers rounded up once and for all!" Groundchuck said as he took out a laser gun and aimed it at Stargirl.
    Jephael quickly remembered the gadget he and Donatello had been experimenting on. He took it out of his belt and adjusted the setting. "I sure hope this works."
  "Oh no you don't!" Dirtbag yelled as he ran towards Jeph who zapped him with the paralyzing ray.
  "Hey, what'd you do to my little buddy?!"
  "Same thing I'm doing to you, beef breath!" Jephael said triumphantly as he zapped Groundchuck.
  The two mutants now stood frozen in front of them.
  "Jeffrey, you... you saved me." Stargirl said.
  "Aw, it weren't nothing, little lady." Jeph replied in a corny cowboy impression as he put the device back in his belt.
  Stargirl smiled as she hugged her hero and kissed him on the lips.
  During the passionate embrace Jeff resumed his human form. "Boy, you sure have an effect on me!"
  "Consider yourself lucky, turtle boy. I don't fall for every guy I meet!"
  Leonardo and Beast Boy made their way to the 40th floor of the Luthor building. "Geez, this place doesn't look like it's been cleaned in years!"
    "Martha told me earlier this is the floor Lex's father Lionel's office was in. It's also the last place Lionel was before falling to his death at the hands of his son." Leo explained. "I'm guessing some part of Lex still loved... or atleast respected his father, so he had this part of the building closed off."
  "That would explain the boarded up doorway we had to smash our way through." Beast Boy replied as he rubbed his apparently stiff neck. "The only thing is, what makes you think Shredder is on this floor?"
  "For as long as I've known him, Tin Face has always had this obsession with the idea for world conquest, and I'm guessing nothing would please him more than to start by taking over someone else's empire!" Leonardo spoke as they crept through the hallway that lead to Lionel Luthor's office.
  "As I said many years ago, I must congratulate you." Shredder's sinister voice spoke from the dark shadowy end of the hallway.
  Leo could make out his arch enemy's silhouette from the dim lights surrounding the hallway. "The game's over, Shredder! I've had enough of you and your diabolical schemes!"
    "To be fair, Krang came up with most of this one." Shredder said, in a vain attempt at humor as he stepped out of the shadows. He wasn't wearing any of his trademark armor or even his mask and helmet. Instead he had on a traditional kimono like the one Splinter wore, except this one was purple.
  "What the heck?" Leo asked as he shook his head. "No matter. It's time to finish this!"
    "To be honest I'm really not in the mood for a fight. I've got a splitting headache! Besides, as the new vice president of LexCorp, I have no need. All I have to do is call security and have you wretched reptiles and all of your little playmates locked up and sent away to a laboratory! Then once I've seen to it you've been properly dissected, I'll return to our world and defeat your pathetic sensei once and for all!" Saki said with a devious laugh before groaning as he put his fingers to his temple and rubbed the throbbing vein on his forehead.
  "You don't look so good, dude." Beast Boy remarked.
  Just then blood began to spurt from Shredder's nose. The once powerful ninja collapsed to the floor.
  "Beast Boy, go get help!" Leonardo ordered.
    Within an hour the police and an ambulance arrived on the scene. Leonardo and Beast Boy made themselves scarce by then, but Jeffrey and Stargirl stuck around to watch from across the street as Shredder was placed in the ambulance.
  "Too bad Lois and Clark are MIA. I bet they could get some answers out of these guys."
  "That's all right, Jeff. If I know Dr. Hamilton, he'll probably get some information on what happened in no time." Stargirl exclaimed as he put her hand on Jeff's shoulder. "You know you're really cute with that red bandana over your forehead."
  "Yea? Well, you're a doll with all that red, white and be-lue!" Jeff said as he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in for another passionate kiss, which was quickly interrupted by a car horn.
  "Hey, Romeo! The bus is leaving in ten minutes!" Dori called out from the driver's seat of the Turtle Van.
  "Aw man, is it time to go back already? I was just starting to enjoy the company!" Jeff said.
  "I think it's for the best, sweetheart. We're literally from two different worlds." Stargirl said with a sigh as she gave him one last hug.
  Jeff nodded in agreement. "If you ever get to Philadelphia..."
  "Come on, Jeff! We've gotta get outta here!" Donatello said impatiently as he opened the side door to the van.
  "What's the rush, man?" Jeff said as he climbed into the front passenger seat.
  "There's really no time to explain just now. I have the teleportation circuits programmed to return us home, but we have to take a small detour through a wormhole that I'm hoping will neutralize the molecules in Miss Lang's body."
  "Miss Lang?"
  "Remember that Lana person Cat Grant mistook me for at the Daily Planet?" Dori mentioned.
  "Yea. What about her?"
    Dori motioned Jeff to look behind him. He had just noticed near the back there was a young lady who looked strikingly similar to Dori strapped into a special metallic cylinder shaped apparatus.
  "Uh, hello." Jeff said with a wave.
  "Hi." Lana replied back.
  Jeff turned back to look out the window and wave goodbye to Stargirl, only to see she had already disappeared.
  Leonardo patted Jeff on the arm. "Better to have loved and lost, right?"
  Jeff nodded with sigh as he took off his bandana. "I know one thing. I'm probably not going to wash my face for a week!"

Jephaelverse Earth (Dimension J); Harleysville, Pa - May 27TH, 2000

    Back at the Oughtons' residence the Punk Frogs were making themselves at home as they sat in the kitchen and played a game of Poker with Splinter. "So when do y'all reckon the guys will get back where they went?"
  "I honestly cannot say, Napoleon." Splinter answered. "I made contact with Donatello about ten minutes before you and Genghis arrived. I hope they get here soon. It is already a quarter past midnight and-"
    At that moment the house rattled from the sound of a flying aircraft that seemed to be a little too close to the ground. The noise had startled both Jeffrey's parents awake as they all headed outside to the patio where they saw a large gold plated rocket shaped space craft descend on the far side of the lawn.
  "Does this sort of stuff happen often?" Genghis asked.
  "Thankfully only once in a blue moon." Mr. Oughton responded.
  "When it does though, we sure get an earful from the neighbors!" Mrs. Oughton added.
  Just then a ladder descended from the ship and three very familiar figures emerged. "Man, it sure feels good to get out of that cramped seat!" Raphael said.
  "You can say that again, bro!" Michaelangelo replied. "I never felt so packed in since that flight we took to Atlanta!"
  "I dunno, I kind of enjoyed it." Mona Lisa remarked.
  "You would the way you spend three hours in the tub!" Raph mentioned.
  "Thanks for the lift, Kerma." Raven said as she shook hands with the Turtleoid before leaving the ship.
  "It was my pleasure, my dear!"
  "Good luck restoring your city. If you need any help, just let us know." Clark said as he and Lois waved goodbye to Kerma.
  "Will do, Mr. Kent!"
    Shelby was the last to say her farewell to Kerma, and being a dog she did it the only way she could, with a slobbery kiss on the cheek. "Oh my, you're an affectionate creature! Go in peace, my friend!" Kerma said as he closed the entranceway to the ship and proceeded to enter the cockpit.
    Raph, Mikey, Mona Lisa and Lois got a safe distance from the rocket just as it blasted off while Superman and Raven flew up in the air. Shelby on the other hand was sent spiraling into the fields by the force of the take-off. Fortunately though she wasn't hurt.
  "I am glad to see you back safe and sound, my sons." Splinter said as he approached Michaelangelo and Raphael.
  Lois' eyes went wide. "You didn't tell me he'd look like that!" she said to Mona Lisa.
  "What were you expecting, one of the Muppets?"
  "No, but... he looks so weird! No offense, sir."
  "None taken, my dear." the rat said with a chuckle as he bowed politely before turning his attention back to Raph and Mikey. "Donatello informed me of your battle with Krang on Shellrelah and I must say I am quite proud of you for protecting the Turtleoids."
  "Hey, I'm the one who knocked Pinky out! Don't I get any credit?"
  "Lois, you get more than enough credit at home." Clark said with a smirk. "Why don't we let these guys have a moment with their mentor?" he said as he took Lois by the hand and lead her towards the house.
  On the way to the patio they walked right by Genghis and Napoleon who waved to them and said "Howdy."
  Lois once again widened her eyes and even did a double-take. "Did you just see-"
  "Just keep walking, Lois." Clark said as he sighed.
  "You're unbelievable, Smallville! A pair of four-foot frogs in Hawaiian shirts walk by us, talking with southern accents no less and you don't even..."
    Clark put his hand tightly around Lois' shoulder in a vain effort to calm her down. "Trust me, sweetheart, I've seen much stranger stuff!" As they approached the porch, Clark instinctively shook hands with the Oughtons. "Hi. You must be Jeffrey's parents."
  "That we are. My name's Rick and this is my wife Linda."
  "Pleasure to meet you. The name's Clark Kent, though nowadays I go by Superman."
  "I wish my brothers were here to see this." Mr. Oughton said with a chuckle as he shook hands with the Man of Steel.
  A couple miles away on the outskirts of Towamencin, the quiet street was suddenly lit up with a brilliant flash from which the Turtle Van emerged!
  Behind the wheel Dori stepped on the breaks to slow down the van. "Thank God it's midnight and there's nobody on the road at the moment!"
  "You can say that again!" Jeff said as he clutched his chest.
  "Dude, one more minute in that wormhole and I was about ready to blow chunks!" Beast Boy exclaimed.
  "Sorry, but I had no other choice. I figured the ionic force from the vortex would have some effect on Lana's condition." Donatello explained as he opened the hood of the van.
  "Do you need any help?" Leonardo asked.
  "Yea, maybe a little. The temporal energy field melted some of the metal straps I used to tie Lana to the roof."
  Leo took out his katana blade and sliced through the bindings that were holding Lana down. "She doesn't look so good." he said as he noticed Lana's skin was covered in what looked like green crystallized flakes. "What's all that stuff on her body?"
  "Those are remnants of the alien skin graft that gave Lana her super powers. However, according to Emil after about five months ago the suit became unstable." Don said as he and Leo lowered her into the van.
  "So is she going to be okay?" Dori asked.
  "I have to get her back to my lab in the basement to run some tests. Where are we by the way, Dori?"
  "We're not far from Nash Elementary. We should be back at Jeff's house soon."
  "That's good. Hopefully Michaelangelo and the others will have already gotten there." Jeff replied.
  "Why don't you contact Master Splinter and let him know we're almost there?" Leonardo suggested.
  "Good idea." Jeff said as he took out his turtle comm. "Master Splinter? Come in Master Splinter!"
  "Yes, my pupil. Where are you?"
  "We just got back in town and we're almost home. I just wanted to make sure Raphael and the others got back."
  "They're all here, thank goodness! Your parents are also present. Infact I believe your mother is anxious to speak to you."
  Jeff let out a laugh. "Okay, put her on."
  "Hi, Jeff? It's Mom!"
  "Hey, Mom. How's it going?"
  "Oh it's pretty crazy. Your friends got here a little while ago in a spaceship and we're just sitting around drinking tea. Dad decided to go back to bed though. He's pretty tired, so when you guys get back you should really try to keep it down."
  "We will, Mom. See you soon. I love you."
  "Love you too, Jeffrey."
  "Aw, that was sweet!" Beast Boy said as he got a little misty eyed.
  "Are you okay?" Dori asked.
  "Yea, I'm just feeling a little sentimental."
    Within minutes they had reached the driveway to the house. Dori neatly parked the van in the turnaround next to Mr. Oughton's Ford Focus. Jeff, Leonardo and Dori immediately headed towards the front door, while Donatello headed to the back yard with Lana. Mona Lisa and Raphael happily greeted Dori and Leonardo while Michaelangelo and Mrs. Oughton gave Jeffrey a warm hug.
  Beast Boy stood back in the middle of the driveway looking up at the stars and shed some more tears.
  "Hey, is everything all right?" Raven asked as she came up to her friend.
  "Oh, uh yea. Everything's fine."
  "Nothing you want to talk about?"
  Beast Boy sniffed. "No, not really."
  "Come on, Garfield. You can tell me." she said as she pulled him into a hug.
  "Damn it, Raven, I hate it when you use my real name like that!" he sighed as he hugged her back. "I was just thinking about my parents. I never knew who they were and..."
  "I know, Beast Boy. You've been keeping that stuff suppressed for so long. That's why I could never laugh at your jokes. I could sense the pain you were feeling deep down."
  "How come you waited until now to tell me this, Raven?"
  "I had no other choice. I knew seeing people who had strong relationships with their parents was the only way to get it out of you."
  "You're a real sneak! You know that?" Beast Boy remarked with a laugh as they walked up the porch towards the doorway.
  "Hey, guys. Come on in and join the party!" Lois said as she held up a mug full of tea like it was a can of beer.
  "So where'd Donatello run off to?" Raphael asked.
  "He should be in the basement with Lana." Dori answered.
  "Lana? What's she doing here?" Clark asked.
  "While your mom and I were hanging out in Watchtower, Lana showed up looking really sick." Dori explained.
  "Can we go see her?" Clark asked.
  "I guess that'd be okay." Mona Lisa replied as she lead Lois and Clark down to the basement.
  "In the meantime, I suggest the rest of you get some much needed sleep. We have a wedding in less than 15 hours!" Splinter ordered.
  "Dori, you can take Holly's bed. She hasn't been home since Easter anyway." Jeff said to his friend.
  "Thanks, Jeff!"
  "If you guys don't mind, I'm just gonna crash here on the couch!" Beast Boy said as he transformed into a little cat and sprawled himself out.
  Raven chuckled as she sat herself down in the recliner in the corner of the living room.
  "How's the patient, Donnie?" Mona Lisa asked cheerfully.
  "It's too soon to tell. The trans-dimensional vortex we went through seems to have successfully eradicated the super power suit, but all the kryptonite in her body has severely weakened her motor functions." Donatello said as he proceeded to scan Lana with his EKG meter.
  Clark held his head in shame as they looked at Lana.
  "Damn it, Smallville, don't start feeling guilty over this! It was her dumb idea to be the guinea pig in some stupid scientist's stupid experiment!" Lois said.
  "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous!" Mona Lisa remarked with a smirk.
  Lois made a grimace and turned back to Clark.
  "Lois, whatever there was between Lana and I is over. I love you, but she's still my friend and she did this to herself because of me! I have to set things right somehow."
  "That's really noble of you, Clark, but to be honest I don't know if there's really anything you could do. Have you noticed all that kryptonite stuck to her skin?" Donatello exclaimed.
  "Have you tried hosing that shit off her?" Mona Lisa suggested.
    "Now why didn't I think of that?" Don said as he snapped his fingers. "Follow me!" Don lead Lois, Clark and Mona Lisa to the other side of the basement. "I always knew this shower I installed down here would be of good use. The kryptonite will be washed off Lana in no time! There's only one problem though. Someone has to keep an eye on her in there."
  "I guess I could do it. I'd like to be nice and clean for my walk down the aisle anyway!" Mona Lisa said as she took off her scarf, the only article of clothing she had on.
  "That's another thing though. Most of Lana's clothes were ripped to shreds in the vortex, so we need to give her something to wear once she's all cleaned up."
    Lois helped Mona Lisa drag Lana's unconscious body into the shower and proceeded to strip off what little remained of her clothes. Lana's shirt was tossed all the way across the room, right in front of Clark who suddenly became faint.
  "I should've seen that coming." Don said as he picked up the kryptonite tainted shirt and the rest of Lana's torn clothes and threw them in a bio-hazard waste bucket.
  Clark came back to his senses as he shook Donatello's hand. "Thanks for doing this. I really appreciate it."
  "We Ninja Turtles are just like you, Mr. Kent. We could never turn our backs on a damsel in distress!"
    Everyone slept in until 10:30 in the morning. Raven thought she was the first to get up but she saw Mrs. Oughton in the dining room praying. "Long night, huh?"
  "It sure was. Would you like to join me in a prayer?"
  "I'd love to." Raven answered with a smile as she took a seat and folded her hand. She then started to chant "Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath Met- Uh, sorry. It's a habit of mine."
  "That's not something Satanic is it?"
  "No, not exactly. I should tell you though I do come from a realm that was known to be very demonic. Infact my father is sort of what you might call the Anti-Christ."
  "That sounds terrible!" Mrs. Oughton said.
  "I wasn't too happy about it growing up."
  "Have you ever thought about joining a church?"
  "I tried once. It didn't go too well."
  Suddenly footsteps could be heard from the floor above. "Sounds like the boys are up."
    Half an hour later the kitchen table was filled with plates full of scrambled eggs, sausage links and toast. Michaelangelo, Jeffrey, Beast Boy and even Lois gobbled their food noisily, much to Raven's disgust. Genghis and Napoleon meanwhile were eating quietly with Clark, Donatello and Raphael in the dining room.
  "Hey, where's my bride-to-be and the maid of honor?"
  "They're in the basement taking care of Lana. Besides you're not supposed to see Mona Lisa yet." Clark said with a grin.
  "Yea, and we've got to get outside and help Leonardo and Master Splinter set up the backyard anyway." Don added.
  "I'll be more than happy to help!"
  "Oh no, Clark. You're our guest here." Jeff said with his mouth half full.
    "I insist." Clark rebutted as he got up and took his empty plate to the kitchen sink. "My dad always taught me no matter where I go I should always lend a helping hand."
  Michaelangelo chuckled as he turned to Jeff. "Say what you like about Superman. No matter what universe you find him, he's always a boy-scout!"
    Downstairs Mona Lisa and Dori were having themselves some cereal while watching over Lana. Even with all the kryptonite washed off her body she still didn't look too good. However she was awake. "Boy, that sure looks good." she said weakly.
  "You can have some if you like." Mona Lisa said offering her a spoonful.
    "No thanks. I don't think I'd be able to keep it down. By the way, who dressed me in this shirt?" she asked as she pointed to the white T-shirt she was wearing that had a picture of Kyle from the Comedy Central show South Park in a bathing suit with the words "SPRING BREAK, SWEET!" in big letters.
  "Oh that's one of Jeffrey's shirts. It was all we could find for you. The blue jogging suit pants used to belong to his sister Holly, but she gave them to me last winter because the cuffs wore out." Mona Lisa explained.
  "Oh, thanks." Lana replied. "I really appreciate you taking care of me like this, especially on your wedding day!"
  "No problemo! That reminds me, Dori and I have an appointment at noon with a hairdresser. You think you'll be okay by yourself?"
  "I guess so. Is anyone else from my world here?"
  "Nope, just Lois and Clark."
  "Oh. I was sort of hoping Martha Kent would be here. I've really missed her. She was always like a mother to me."
  "Maybe Mrs. Oughton will come down and keep you company." Dori said as she fluffed Lana's pillow. "She's a really nice lady."
  "Boy I just realized you two really do look alike!" Mona Lisa said as she looked back and forth from one girl to the next.
    After breakfast Lois decided to go for a jog up the road and check out the farm. Raven and Shelby joined her. "You don't need to look after me, you know. I can handle myself! Besides no offense, but that outfit you're wearing makes you stick out like a sore thumb."
  "First of all, Lois, this isn't your reality. You have to be careful what you say around here! Second of all the people in this area are used to strange looking people like me walking around. They've got the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as neighbors for crying out loud! If anything, you're the sore thumb!"
  "Whatever you say, goth girl!" Lois said sarcastically as she sprinted off.
  Raven sighed and shook her head. "Mortals."
  Beast Boy meanwhile was checking out Jeff and Michaelangelo's Super Nintendo Entertainment System. "Man, these dudes are old school!"
  Just then Mr. Oughton poked his head out his bedroom door. "Morning, Donatello." he said with a yawn.
  "I'm not Donatello. I'm Beast Boy!"
  "Oh, I'm sorry." Rick said as he wiped the dust from his eyes. "I couldn't see clearly for a moment."
  "That's okay. Hey, how do you turn on this video game system?"
  "You have to turn the TV set to channel 4." Mr. Oughton said with another loud yawn.
  "Sweet! Thanks, mister!" Beast Boy said as he took the cartridge titled Super Mario World and popped it into the console.
    Jeff, Donatello and the Punk Frogs were hard at work setting up chairs for the guests to sit in during the wedding, while Clark helped Michaelangelo set up a six foot cardboard canvas in the shape of a pink heart that would serve as the background for the nuptials.
    "It's not much, but I put a lot of work into this thing. Too bad Donnie didn't have time to construct a dance floor." Mikey said with a sigh. "Oh well, we can always use the patio. It might be a little crowded but there's enough room for some major partying!"
  "That should be fun. I have to admit I've never danced in my uniform before. I should probably do something with my cape."
  "No way, dude! The cape is part of the outfit. Without it, you just look like an overgrown dork in pajamas!"
  Clark grinned at the comment. "I guess you've got a point."
    A couple of hours later Jeffrey and the Turtles were getting dressed for the wedding. Leonardo decided to wear the outfit Mrs. Oughton had picked out originally for Michaelangelo, so Mikey got to wear the Hawaiian shirt and light blue denim shorts he wanted after all.
  "How come after all that arguing earlier you decided let him wear that?" Jeff asked.
  "I had no choice." Leo explained with a sigh. "There's a big yellow stain on my rental tux."
    "That's sorta my fault." Donatello said sheepishly. "I was fixing myself a peanut butter and salami pizza for lunch earlier, and when I went to squirt some honey mustard on it, the bottle fell out of my hands and... I'm really sorry."
  "Hey, it could've been a lot worse. If anything happened to Mona Lisa's dress, we'd all be screwed!"
  "Don't even joke about that, Mikey!" Raphael said sternly as he adjusted his tie infront of the mirror. "Boy, I'm glad you talked me into wearing this suit, Jeffrey! I look good!"
  "To quote Bart Simpson, I have a weakness for the classics!"
  "Yea, and nothing's more classic than a 50's jazz musician!" Don joked. "We really do watch too many movies!"
  Just then there was a knock at the door. "My sons, there's someone here to see you." Splinter said as a familiar face peeked her head through the doorway.
  "APRIL!!!" the Turtles all said at once.
  Michaelangelo was the first to hug Miss O' Neil. "It's so good to see you, dudette!"
  "Yea, we've missed you!" Donatello said as he gave her a hug.
  "I've missed you guys too!" she said with a chuckle. "Lotus Blossom and I have been having such a good time though traveling around Europe and other places! Of course I had to come back to see Raphael and Mona Lisa's big day!"
  "We're glad you're here, April!" Leonardo said as he gave her a pat on the shoulder.
  "Hey, just out of curiosity, who's giving the bride away?" April asked.
  "I most graciously accepted that task." Splinter answered.
  "Aw that's so sweet! Anyway, I brought along my new video camera and I just put in a fresh blank tape, so I'm all set to record your big day, Raphael!"
  "Actually, Jeff is filming the wedding with the camera his parents got him. But thanks anyway!" Donatello explained. "Besides you're here as a guest of honor, not the filmographer!"
  "Yea, but thanks anyway." Raphael added sweetly.
  April smiled with a nod as she headed downstairs and into the living room where Beast Boy and Lois were playing Super Mario Kart. "Oh, hello there. Are you friends of Jeffrey's?"
  "He is, but I'm really more of an acquaintance." Lois replied.
  That moment Superman stepped in from the kitchen entrance. "Lois, Raven says she's ready to send us back home."
  April laughed at the six foot tall man in tights. "I didn't know this was going to be a costume party! Pretty impressive getup! Oh wait, did you call her Lois? Don't tell me she's supposed to be Lois Lane."
  "Uh yea, that happens to be who I am!" Lois said as she got up from off the floor.
  That same moment Beast Boy leapt up excitedly as he had won the video game race. "Yes! That's three in a row! I beat your sorry butt, Lane! Go Beast Boy! Go Beast Boy!"
  Lois rolled her eyes as she looked back to Clark. "Wait a minute. I thought we were going to stick around for Raphael and Mona Lisa's wedding. It's only an hour away."
  Just then Jeff, Donatello, Raphael and Michaelangelo came down the steps. "Yo dudes, like what's shakin'?"
  "Apparently Raven's dimensional opening abilities are working again and she wants to send Smallville and me... back to Smallville." Lois said with a chuckle.
  "Aw, but you're gonna miss the wedding!" Raph said with a sigh. "Mona Lisa's going to be so bummed out!"
  "I really am sorry, Raphael, but all this dimension hopping I do causes my powers to become very erratic. I can only stay focused on their world for a short period, and the window is closing fast."
  "She's right. It didn't even occur to me before that the longer you guys are here, the inter-dimensional energy balance gets more and more unstable!" Don explained.
  "What about Lana?" Clark asked.
  "I still have to run some tests and she may need to take a couple more showers to get the kryptonite out of her system. But I promise I'll bring her back to your world as soon as I have the chance."
  "Thanks, Donatello." Clark said as he shook his friend's hand.
  Michaelangelo gave Beast Boy a high five. "Hey buddy, sorry I didn't get a chance to play some video games with you. We are kinda busy today with my bro's wedding and all."
  "It's okay, dude. I had a good time!"
  "Take care of yourself, kid." Raphael said as he shook hands with the shape shifter.
  Splinter walked up to Raven and bowed to her. "As always, it was good to see you, my young friend."
    "Same to you, Hamato Yoshi! I'll see you in the Astral Plane." she said as she focused her energy on the rectangular archway between the kitchen and living room. Within seconds the kitchen was replaced with the road that lead to the Kent Farm.
  Clark took Lois in his arms and carried her through the portal at super speed. Shelby followed at her own pace through the portal.
  April's eyes went wide. "That did not just happen!"
  "Oh yes it did." Jeff replied.
  "Than that was really... that was really... I need to sit down!" April said in exhaustion.
  Raven adjusted her position as she changed the coordinates of the portal to the Teen Titans' homeworld. An aerial view of their tower could be seen through the portal. "Come on, Garfield. It's time to go home."
  Beast Boy smirked as he morphed into a hawk and flew off through the portal.
    Raven leapt through the portal, which promptly closed after her, causing the kitchen to reappear, only now Genghis and Napoleon could be seen standing near the dishwasher. "Boy, you fellas sure know how to give us some top notch entertainment around here!"
  A half hour later guests started to arrive for the wedding. Jeff's cousins Joey, Missy and Wendy all showed up together, as well as Wendy's mom Elaine. Even Dan Berger, one of the artists from Mirage Studios showed up, as did Jeff's pal James.
  Dori returned all dressed up and escorted her mother Carol to the backyard. "Hey, sorry I'm late. The hairdressers were really pokey."
  "No sweat, dudette! You're just in time! Oh, forgive me. You must be the new school marm!" Michaelangelo joked using a corny western dialect he had used once before.
  Carol laughed. "No, I'm Dori's mom. But you can call me Carol."
  "Good to meet you. We've got a special seat just for you next to Jeff's parents."
  Once everyone was situated the ceremony began. Raphael was the first to walk down the aisle escorted by Donatello, followed by Dori and Leonardo. Finally Splinter escorted Mona Lisa to the song "Here Comes the Bride" being played on a ukulele by Genghis Frog.
    Pastor Cramp from the Oughtons' church stood between the bride and groom and began the wedding. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in this peaceful country area in the presence of the Lord to bring these two special creatures together in holy matrimony. Raphael and Mona Lisa are without a doubt the most extraordinary couple I've ever met! Having been reunited after a series of rather strange events, they've managed to find love with one another in a world that is not their own. If there's any reason anyone here thinks these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace."
  "I can just imagine Peter Laird raising his hand." Michaelangelo quipped quietly to Dan Berger.
  "No, he and Kevin Eastman both told me to give their blessings."
  "Oh, that's nice!"
  "Shh!!! I can't hear." Carol scolded Mikey.
  Raphael, do you take Mona Lisa to be your lawfully wedded wife? To love and honor her, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?" Pastor Cramp asked.
  "I do!" Raph said, choking back tears.
  "Mona Lisa, do you take Raphael to be your lawfully wedded husband? To love and honor him, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?"
  "I do!" Mona Lisa answered with a smile.
  "I therefore pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the mutant!"
  Everyone applauded as Mona Lisa and Raphael held hands and kissed in front of the big pink heart shaped canvas.
  April had to wipe her eyes as she smiled tearfully.
  "It's an honor and a privilege to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Raphael Oughton!" Pastor Cramp announced.

drawn by Dan Berger; colored by Brinatello

  Everyone in the audience stood up and cheered!
  Jeff had to take his eyes off the video camera for a moment to look up at the happy couple and give them both a thumbs up!
  Immediately following the wedding, the reception began with Raphael and Mona Lisa dancing to the song "Endless Love".
  Donatello took over filming as Jeff decided to ask Dori to dance with him. Michaelangelo and April joined in on the fun as well.
    A few moments later the pizzas were served. "It's not a Ninja Turtle wedding without pizza!" Dan Berger remarked with a laugh as he ate a slice of pepperoni and sausage.
  The party went on for a good three hours, but it wasn't long before the guests started to leave one by one, until it was just Splinter and the Turtles sitting out on the patio.
  "Man, what a weekend this turned out to be! I don't think we're ever going to have this much excitement ever again!" Leonardo exclaimed.
  "I kind of hope not. We're getting too old to be crossing dimensions and fighting evildoers." Michaelangelo replied. "Though it would be nice to visit the Neutrinos again in Dimension X."
  "Why don't you and I go next weekend after I take Lana back to Smallville?" Donatello suggested.
  "That would be totally tubular! Hey, maybe Rocksteady and Bebop could come with us!"
  "They've been pretty busy lately, Michaelangelo." Leonardo replied.
  "Yea, besides I'd rather just the two of us went." Don added.
  "Well, I'd better turn in. Mona Lisa and I have a plane to catch to the Florida Keys in the morning, so I'm gonna get some rest." Raphael said as he loosened his tie. "Say hi to the Neutrinos for me, Mikey!"
  "Will do, bro!"

Smallville Earth (Elseworld 167); Smallville, KS - June 25TH, 2012

  Clark Kent stood quietly on the porch of the house at the Kent Farm with his adoptive mother.
  "Long day, son?" Martha asked.
  "It hasn't been too bad. I stopped some rowdy teens from crashing their car into a gym this morning and in the afternoon I managed to prevent a bank robbery."
  "Your father would be so proud of you! Oh by the way, Bruce Wayne left you another message. He really wants you to pay him a visit in Gotham City."
  "I'd rather he came here to Smallville." Clark responded.
  "Now, Clark, Gotham's not that bad. I've been there!"
  "Yes, and you nearly got killed by some nutcase in a penguin costume!"
  "Is that any different than all the wild stuff that's happened here over the years?" Martha argued.
  "I guess not." Clark remarked with a sigh. "I sure hope Lois and Chloe are doing okay by themselves in Central City. Oliver and I wanted to join them, but they just wanted to make it a girls' getaway."
  "Well, they haven't seen each other in awhile, especially after Chloe had the baby! She and Oliver make such great parents!"
  "I wonder if Lois and I ever will. She's not exactly good with kids, though." Clark's train of thought was promptly interrupted by a loud sonic boom and the sound of a vehicle coming up the driveway.
  Clark ran at super speed halfway up the driveway to where he saw the familiar sight of the Turtle Van parked near the barn.
  "Hey, Smallville! Long time, no see!" Michaelangelo joked as he stepped out of the driver's seat.
  Donatello got out of the passenger's side and shook hands with Clark. "Hey Clark, I'm really sorry I didn't call ahead, but even with the trans-dimensional broadcaster it's hard to get a fix on you. Anyway we just came to return Lana here."
  "Lana?"
  "Yea, you know. Hot babe with dark hair and big doe eyes that sort of make her look like an anime character."
  "I heard that, Mikey!" Lana remarked as she and April O' Neil got out of the back of the van.
  Martha arrived, having walked all the way up the driveway, and was utterly shocked at the sight of her son's former love leaning on a cane. "Oh my gosh! Lana, is that you?"
  "It's not Princess Di!" Mikey quipped.
  Don and April both shot Michaelangelo an annoyed look.
  Lana smiled and waved at her old friend.
  Martha began to shed tears as she ran over to Lana and hugged her. "I am so sorry, Lana!"
  "What do you have to be sorry for, Mrs. Kent?"
    "Nothing. It's just... I feel so responsible for what happened to you! If we had just been honest with you from the beginning, you wouldn't have-" Martha began to sob like crazy as she held Lana in her arms.
  "Mom, don't blame yourself. It was my choice not to tell Lana my secret all those years." Clark replied.
  "Neither of you are to blame!" Lana said as she patted Mrs. Kent on the shoulder. "It was involving myself with the Luthors that messed me up so bad! I should've known better than to deal with them. But none of it matters now! Everything's back the way it was... more or less."
  "Boy, and I thought the Channel 6 News crew back home caused a lot of drama!" April said quietly to Mikey.
  "Thank you for taking care of her." Clark said to Donatello.
  "My pleasure, Mr. Kent! She was a great patient!"
  "So like, what're you gonna do now, Lana?" Michaelangelo asked.
  "I guess I'll just have to pick up the pieces. Maybe go back to college and get a degree."
  "I'll be more than happy to help you, Lana!" Martha added with a smile. "You could intern as my personal secretary!"
  "I'll take you up on that, Mrs. Kent!"
  "Oh, call me Martha! Hey, before you boys leave, would you like a snack? I've got a fresh baked apple pie cooling on the window sill." she said to the Turtles.
  "That sounds totally righteous!" Mikey said as he ran towards the house.
  Donatello and April exchanged glances and laughed as they followed Clark, Lana and Mrs. Kent.

The 79TH Level of Null-Time (Dimension <Null>)

  Leonardo, Master Splinter, Raven and Renet were looking over the unconscious forms of Shredder and Krang who lied side by side on a giant table. "How long have they been this way, Leo?" the Teen Titan asked.
  "Ever since that night Lois Lane defeated Krang in Shellrelah. I didn't even get the chance to duel with Shredder. Donatello took them both to a Neutrino scientist in Dimension X two months ago, but he couldn't figure out what's been happening to them."
  "It's possible the very temporal energy they've been tampering with over the years has effected them in a way." Renet contemplated. "During our last encounter with Shredder, I sensed he was in his mid 40s. His mind and spirit don't seem that much older, but his body has aged by about 30 years! It's as if every jump he's taken from one dimension to the other has caused his physical being to rapidly age! But that's not even the weird part."
  "I'm almost afraid to ask what the weird part is." Leonardo replied.
  "The exact opposite seems to be happening to Krang! He's becoming younger, though it's happening a lot slower."
  "That is most peculiar." Splinter chimed in curiously. "Is there any way we can reverse this?"
  "I could try some things, but I really wish you had brought this to my attention sooner! I sense that within another year Shredder will be dust and Krang will basically be a teenager."
  "A teenaged Krang?" Leonardo had to laugh at the thought.
  "The idea of Shredder being out of our lives for good does sound promising, but I do not wish for it to happen like this." Splinter remarked as he looked in pity at the elderly face of his arch enemy.
  "Raven and I will do what we can. In the meantime, why don't you and Leonardo return home? We'll contact you in a few months."
  Splinter and his pupil bowed to the girls before they stepped through the portal back to the Jephaelverse.
  "Do you think we can save them?" Renet pondered out loud.
  "The real question is should we save them? I know it's a terrible thing to say but letting Oroku Saki perish wouldn't be such a bad thing! Look at all the trouble he's caused Hamato Yoshi!"
  "You really care for Splinter, don't you?"
  Raven nodded with a smile. "He's been like the father I never had... and always wanted! Some nights I wonder why I couldn't be his daughter. Every time we say goodbye I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm scared to!"
  "I'm sure he'd return the sentiment." Renet put her arm around Raven's shoulder. "You should consider yourself lucky to have met and befriended that particular version of Splinter! He's one of the sweetest, most considerate Splinters out there. 4Kids Splinter on the other hand is kind of a dick in my opinion. I mean what kind of father keeps smacking his kids upside the head?"
  Raven chuckled at the comment. "Hey, atleast he cares. So about this job opening you want to give me and Miss Lang..."
  "All in due time, Raven." Renet said with a grin.


THE END

Return to Fan-Fic